I, Roomba

Roomba Violates All Three Laws Of Roombotics

CHARLOTTE, NC—While the Roomba is only programmed to vacuum, its owner, 35-year-old claims adjuster Ken Graney now fears it may have taught itself to tidy up.

Pleo The Destroyer

Jenn: ... do you know what the pleo is?
Me: nope
Jenn: I don't know if I want to have one, or destroy all the ones that exist
Jenn: well, go to amazon and search "pleo" and then watch the video
Me: the dinosaur?
Jenn: yeah
Me: I'm so fascinated
Jenn: it's totally the end of us
Jenn: I want one
Jenn: but if I get it, one day it's descendants will destroy me
Jenn: in the inevitable war against mainkind
Jenn: what side will YOU be on
Me: I'm on team pelo
Me: All hail the omnipotent pleo
Jenn: nooo!
Jenn: PLEO YOU BASTARD!
Jenn: GIVE MY SISTER BACK TO HUMANITY
Me: but master pleo is so kind
Jenn: AHHGGG!
Jenn: I'm serious. First Roomba... now Pleo
Jenn: Please dear god...
Jenn: don't let them mate

Top 5 Most Undeserving Movies of 2007

"Not hot"

Here's a list of 5 awful movies from 2007 that made way too much money at the US box office. I'll keep saying it: if you keep watching them they'll keep making them. United front people!

Spider-Man 3 ($336 mil)- Sam Raimi turned Spiderman into a singing, dancing, crying emo whiner in this disjointed threequel.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer ($131 mil) - Another unnecessary sequel; they also somehow managed to turn the usually epic Silver Surfer into a bland popcorn flick character.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry ($119 mil) - A homophobic, condescending pile of inconsequential slapstick and yet another reminder that Adam Sandler should have stopped making movies after Billy Madison.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets ($100 mil so far) - Nicholas Cage phones it in again in this wannabe Indiana Jones, quasi-patriotic family film that's inevitably going to turn into a full fledged franchise.

Saw IV ($63 mil)- Movie producers, please make a new year's resolution to stop making torture porn. Pretty please?

Holidy Movie Breakdown 2007

A dog is post-apocalypse man's best friend

Excited about:
I Am Legend - Will Smith wins again and there ain't nothing wrong with that
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story - the cameos alone make this Judd Apatow film worth it
Atonement - Keira Knightley and James McAvoy in a sweeping war drama
Juno - A witty teen pregnancy comedy from the people behind Thank You for Smoking

I'll need convincing to see:
Charlie Wilson's War - Something about the Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts pairing is just too much. Smug A-listers making another Oscar movie
National Treasure: Book of Secrets - If you keep watching them they'll keep making them
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - ANOTHER Johnny Depp/Helena Bonham-Carter/Tim Burton eccentric/gothic movie??
The Bucket List - Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman being old
The Kite Runner - Just read the book

Guiltily paying money to see:
Alvin and the Chipmunks - My nostalgia is getting the best of me on this one - praying that it's at least better than Garfield: A Tale of Two Kittens

Won't Bother with:
P.S. I Love You, Water Horse: Legend of the Deep, Alien vs. Predator: Requiem, The Perfect Holiday

Chow Yun-Fat is still a credible actor (?)

"Someone needs a new agent"

From RottenTomatoes today:

"Chow Yun-Fat has joined the cast of James Wong's live-action Dragonball adaptation. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Chow will play Master Roshi, mentor to Goku (played by Justin Chatwin), "a warrior alien who protects the Earth from an endless stream of rogues bent on dominating the universe and controlling mystical objects known as Dragon Balls."

best Will Ferrell SNL skit ever

Peace in Middle Earth

"Bilbo's finally getting a makeover"

From IMDB news:

Filmmaker Peter Jackson has signed on to produce two movies based on author J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, after resolving his legal feud with studio bosses over unpaid royalties. Jackson has been involved in a long and bitter despite with bosses at New Line Cinema after claiming he had not been properly paid following the success of the Lord Of The Rings trilogy, which he directed. But Jackson has now settled the disagreement and has confirmed he will be on board for the two new films, both of which are prequels to the Lord Of The Rings. He says, "I'm very pleased that we've been able to put our differences behind us. We are delighted to continue our journey through Middle Earth." A director for the two new Tolkien movies has yet to be announced.

first look: Where the Wild Things Are

Remember these?

The pajamas!

Here are 2 pics from the movie adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are (2009). Can't wait!

The Golden Compass angers me

polar bears should always be wearing badass armor

So I watched The Golden Compass last week and was disappointed to find out how dumbed down it was compared to its source. Just about all of the cool philosophical/theological themes are gone, leaving you with a basic "good vs. evil" story in a waay too complicated universe.

What's dust? Why are the Gobblers kidnapping kids? What side are the witches/polar bears/Russian guys/Mongolians fighting on and why? Keep asking yourself those questions, 'cause the movie sure as hell won't be answering any of them for you.

On the plus side, the casting and cgi was spot on. I enjoyed Nicole Kidman and Ian McKellen's voice performance very much and any scene with a polar bear in it was pretty damn exciting.

w00t is now legit

From Perezhilton.com:

Merriam-Webster has officially added "w00t" to the dictionary.

Based on votes from visitors to their Web site, the expression is the #1 Word of the Year for 2007.

w00t (interjection):
expressing joy (it could be after a triumph, or for no reason at all); similar in use to the word “yay”

w00t! I won the contest!

This year’s winning word first became popular in competitive online gaming forums as part of what is known as l33t (”leet,” or “elite”) speak—an esoteric computer hacker language in which numbers and symbols are put together to look like letters. Although the double “o” in the word is usually represented by double zeroes, the exclamation is also known to be an acronym for “we owned the other team”—again stemming from the gaming community.

Christian Bale is: Bat Terminator

"Is this the face of a nightmarish science fiction demi-god?"

From IMDB news today:

"Batman Begins actor Christian Bale has reportedly signed up to star in the fourth Terminator film. The actor will play John Connor in Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins, which is to be directed by Charlie's Angels filmmaker McG. The character of John Connor has previously been played by Edward Furlong in 1991's Terminator II: Judgement Day and Nick Stahl in 2003's Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines. California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who starred in the first three Terminator films, is not expected to be a part of the fourth installment."

Energy menergy

Enchanted with Amy Adams

"A dress made out of a curtain does not a Scarlett O'Hara make"

Just watched Enchanted and was VERY impressed with Amy Adams and James Marsden, who both played convincing and extremely lovable Disney stereotypes come to life. Add some music by the composer behind classics like Little Mermaid and Aladdin and you've got a surefire holiday hit (and the source material to "Enchanted On Ice").

This.. is.. Beowulf!

"the legend of beowulf crossed with a fanboy's wet dream"

I just watched Beowulf (in 3D) and was VERY impressed by the visuals, the acting, and Angelina Jolie's awesome demon body. More importantly, I was really digging the creativity of this modern re-envisioning of a legendary hero; trust me, this isn't the Beowulf you read in high school.


Hollywood, keep em coming! There's hope for the movie industry yet.

Soulja Boys and Girls

Big Bird hates your children

"Elmo wants you to be a fat, pipe smoking muthaf^$*ka"

From IMDB news today:

"DVDs of early seasons of Sesame Street bear a warning to parents that they may not be appropriate for small children, the New York Times observed today (Monday). Carol-Lynn Parente, executive producer of Sesame Street noted that in the early days of the show, a regular feature was a parody of Masterpiece Theater, featuring Alistair Cookie, played by Cookie Monster, who appeared with a pipe. "That modeled the wrong behavior," Parente observed. Oscar the Grouch appeared too grouchy. "We might not be able to create a character like Oscar now," she said. The Times also noted that in the DVDs (Volumes 1 and 2) Cookie Monster can be seen "in his former inglorious incarnation: a blue, googly-eyed cookievore with a signature gobble ('om nom nom nom')."

Chris Brown Feat. T-Pain - Kiss Kiss By David Sides

Stunning piano version of what I thought would not be a very piano-friendly song. Genius!

Jessica Alba cuts your heart out

"nice feet"

A script I read while working for Charlize Theron actually got produced (by another company - sigh) and is in theaters Nov 30th!

Awake is a thriller starring Jessica Alba and Hayden Christensen and is about a man who finds himself awake and aware, but paralyzed, during heart surgery (anesthetic awareness). He soon discovers that his wife and his heart surgeon are plotting to kill him on the operating table and split the inheritance...

AMAZING script, can't wait.

The trailer can be found here

Toy Story 3 confirmed

"toyfriends"

Pixar reps confirmed Toy Story 3 is in development and is scheduled for a 2010 release! goody.

While we're waiting for that there are some pretty interesting other 3-D gems on their way from the studio that can do no wrong:

According to a Rotten Tomatoes article this week:

"The movie after Wall-E is a movie called Up and it's directed by Pete Docter who did Monsters, Inc. It's kind of a big action adventure starring an 80-year-old man. It's got a lot of heart in the story. It's great."

Dick Van Dyke, Drunk Routine

With the hollywood writers strike in full gear I started thinking about the yesteryear of slapsick, where the kings of comedy like Dick Yan Dyke could rely on their bodies to do most of the acting for them. This is a video of a classic drunk routine he did on his show - enjoy!

Rome- Pullo and Vorenus

WARNING: GRAPHIC VIOLENCE. I'm finishing up season 2 of HBO's EPIC Rome and am seriously sad that this show ended. Pullo and Vorenus are too legit.

just saw American Gangster!

"Best scene in the movie. The tension! The coffee cup shuffle!"

American Gangster was great, but it was frustratingly close-but-no-cigar when it came to meeting the standards of a classic mob drama. Brilliant real-life material and A class performances by both male leads, but the first 2 hours dragged with plenty of vaguely-interesting incremental plot development points with the occasional scene of Denzel laying some serious smackdown on his thugs/enemies. The last 40 minutes are amazing though - frantic action scenes, high tension interrogations and a nice moral wrapup.

Kansas - Carry On Wayward Son

This week's episode of South Park reminded me of how awesome this song is
"I was soaring ever higher... but I flew too high"

Disney's Frog Princess - Righting Racial Wrongs?

New Masters of the Universe

"That Dutch boy haircut is so He-Manly"

Click here and scroll to the bottom of the page to see a great pitch video for a He-Man Movie!

Borat on Hillary

"The pedosmile"

From Perez Hilton today:

Sacha Baron Cohen is making the media rounds to promote his new Borat-inspired “travel” book. And, as he is prone to do, the British funnyman has been conducting interviews in character.

Asked by reporters who he supports in the upcoming U.S. presidential election, Borat answers:

“I cannot believe that it possible a woman can become Premier of US and A - in Kazakhstan, we say that to give a woman power, is like to give a monkey a gun - very dangerous. We do not give monkeys guns any more in Kazakhstan ever since the Astana Zoo massacre of 2003 when Torkin the orang-utan shoot 17 schoolchildrens. I personal would like the basketball player, Barak Obamas to be Premier.

Bioshock halloween

Scary! Scary scary scary, but epic cool

Daniel Craig: 007 x 4

"Daniel Craig, this is your life"

From IMDB news today:

"Actor Daniel Craig has signed a $60 million deal to star in the next four James Bond films. The blond 39-year-old is currently filming Bond 22 - his second outing as secret agent 007 following the success of 2006's Casino Royale - and movie executives have reportedly signed him up for another three films, tying him to the franchise for the next 10 years. A source says, "To date Daniel has been quite cautious over saying how many films he'd be starring in. It was presumed he'd probably do a couple more but the word is the new deal ensures he'll do at least another four across the next decade." Craig's predecessor, Pierce Brosnan, starred in four Bond movies - but the longest-serving 007 star remains Sir Roger Moore, who played the iconic role in seven films between 1973 and 1985."

Sony's ping pong robot

"Your worst ping pong nightmare"

The guys over at Penny Arcade have entertained me for years but this particular post really had to be shared. Their company ping pong match against Sony Online Entertainment's own team was doomed to fail as soon as S.O.E. unveiled their "team captain" pictured above.

Glorious!

G.I. Joe no longer American??

G.I. Joe: A Real Coalition Hero

From IMDB news today:

"Concerned about the current negative image of the American military in many countries, Paramount Pictures and Hasbro, the toy manufacturer, have decided that in their forthcoming film featuring comic-book patriot G.I. Joe, the character will become part of a multinational force, the London Daily Telegraph reported today (Tuesday). Even the character's name has become an acronym for Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, the newspaper said. Word of the makeover is likely to anger U.S. conservatives, the Telegraph noted. The film is due to open in 2009."

Beer at the Movies!

"Let's all go the moooovies... to get ourselves a draaank!"

From IMDB studio news today:

Theaters Begin Barring Children

"Some theater chains have begun barring children from theaters after 8:30 p.m. if they are not accompanied by their parents -- in hopes of attracting more adults who are put off by the disruptive behavior of some kids, according to USA Today. A spokeswoman for the Midwest chain Kerasotes Theaters said that it is testing "adult-friendly" screenings at 13 of its 95 locations. Marcus Majestic Cinema in Brookfield, WI, has gone further, serving alcoholic beverages and prepared entrees in its adults-only auditoriums and providing a babysitting service. "We want to create an entertainment destination and reach people who might not otherwise come to a movie theater," Marcus Theatres spokesman Carlo Petrick told the newspaper."

yes yes yes! What I'm really hoping for is a throwback to movie theaters as social gatherings. Don't you miss your campus theater shows where people drink a couple of beers and scream obscene jokes at the screen?

Opening this week - 10/26

"You don't get the Keys to the VIP"

I'm gonna be even lazier! First impressions of movies opening this weekend:

Dan in Real Life - Steve Carrell moves further and further down the Jim Carrey path.
The Darjeeling Limited - The Royal Rushmore Aquatic
Saw IV - The prequel to Saw V, coming October 2008

Daft Hands - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

this is awesome! gets good starting from 52 sec

No Comment

Japanese people at it again

This is amazing - 1152 people, each as one pixel in a human LCD display for a tribute to Samsung. Keep being weird Japan.

My Tribute to Michael Bay

"Pearl Harbor sucks... just a little bit more than I miss you"

Michael Bay (Transformers, Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, Bad Boys I/II) may just be the most successful douche bag in Hollywood. Here's some quotes that may offer insights into his "genius":

Secretary Of Defense: Those aren't ideas, those are special effects.
Michael Bay: I don't understand the difference.
Secretary Of Defense: I know you don't. (to guards) Get him out of here!
- South Park Imaginationland episode

"Ubiquitous through the (Transformers DVD) extras is action auteur Michael Bay... some viewers may be put off by his working methods - fetishizing deadly weapons, browbeating his crew, and casting Megan Fox in part because she has 'a nice stomach'. Why he would reveal such dirt is a mystery. Then again, like the movie, it's really entertaining."
- Joshua Rich, Entertainment Weekly

"Michael Bay gets to keep making movies and Cartman gets his own theme park; there is no God."
- Kyle, South Park

30 Days of Night is a snore

"108 Minutes of Crap"

Peaking at 54% on Rotten Tomatoes, Sam Raimi's much anticipated graphic novel film 30 Days of Night is getting a lukewarm/tepid welcome at the box offices. According to Entertainment Weekly:

"The monsters... are commanded by a tall, brooding and rather natty scowler (Danny Huston) who bears a disquieting resemblance to Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys"

And even more alarming:

"As the sheriff who leads the besieged townsfolk, Josh Hartnett looks as if he's about to cry."

The Daily Show - now legal!

"Don't be scurrred. It's just online video"

Viacom got you down with their rapid diligence in pulling The Daily Show with Jon Stewart clips off of YouTube? Well cry no more: introducing the brand new, fully copyright-protected official Daily Show website!

The site plans to make 13,000 video clips of the show available for online viewing - that's basically everything ever aired since 1999. As far as I can tell the stream rate, video resolution and user interface are just as good if not better than YouTube and TEN TIMES better than the ol' Comedy Central Motherload (of s%*#t) video player.

Huzzah!

Another Bourne movie?!

"The Bourne Redundancy"

Does the series need another sequel. No. Do I desperately want one anyway? Heck yeah!

From IMDB today:
"Matt Damon indicated Wednesday that he would make another Bourne sequel if only to express his gratitude. In an interview in Tokyo with the French news agency Agence France Presse, Damon said, "Personally, the character means a lot to me because the character has done so much for my career. You know, it put me in the position where I have a lot more choices of kind of movies I want to make." He said that if director Paul Greengrass asked him to take on the character again, "then I would do it, too. ... I don't think either of us completely put the character to bed yet."

Opening this weekend - 10/5

"This poster's focus could be adjusted."

The Heartbreak Kid (Ben Stiller, Michelle Monaghan) - The Farrelly Brothers (famous for There's Something About Mary) cash in hopefully their last favor card with Ben Stiller in this awkward performance of old tricks. Is there something about pretty girls in gross-out humor flicks that I'm simply not getting?

Limited release noteworthy mentions (title links to trailers):

Michael Clayton - George Clooney stars as the title character, an in-house "fixer" at a large corporate law firm in New York. Intrigue and John Grisham-esque intrigue ensues and Clooney yet again reminds us that he can do no wrong in film choice.

My Kid Could Paint That - Have you ever looked at modern art or read news articles about 5-year old art prodigies and thought, "I could probably do that and I can't even draw a decent stick figure - why are people paying for this stuff again?" This one's for you.

KANYE WEST SKIT ON SNL

it's great how he can make fun of himself, but Kanye West is still a big big baby

Fall TV - Hits and Misses

"Why are British people always the most compelling Americans on TV?"

From what I've seen so far:

Hits:
No sophomore slump for Heroes (Thurs 9pm NBC) - the writing is as sharp as ever and it looks like all the favs from season 1 return with even more character development in the works. I've also been charmed by Kevin Smith's Reaper (Tues 9pm CW) (yay for Sock!) and surprisingly wowed by the cleverly edited, zen-inspired cop drama Life (Wed 10pm NBC).

Misses:
Chuck (Mon 8pm NBC) has the potential to be fun but also carries that swarmy spy cliche like a bad tan - fingers crossed that this ends up better than VIP, She Spies, or Dark Angel. Family Guy (Sun 9pm Fox) is also showing signs of age and is playing it too safe, America's Next Top Model is kinda boring and Journeyman (Mon 10pm NBC) is disjointed with badly cast female leads and a ho-hum premise (such a waste of Kevin McKidd!).

Shows I'm still watching: Heroes, Reaper, Life, Family Guy, America's Next Top Model
Shows I'll probably pick up when they premiere: South Park, Scrubs, 30 Rock, Ugly Betty, Project Runway
Shows on DVD that I'm watching: Weeds season 2, Extras season 2

The Office - season 4 spoliers

"If you're good he'll give you a Schrute buck"

The Office (Thursdays at 8pm on NBC) is the gift that keeps on giving. Check out these great hints about season 4 from the newest issue of Entertainment Weekly:

- Michael holds a pizza delivery boy hostage
- Dwight euthanizes Angela's favorite cat Sprinkles
- Ryan the temp-turned-corporate suit is now basically evil, but still can't shake the clingy Kelly
- Jim and Pam begin their long-awaited courtship in secret (aww)
- Jan, now unemployed, takes over Michael's condo
- Darryl from the warehouse is now a series regular (yay!)

Opening this weekend - 9/28

"Caution: this film may contain lust"

In the Valley of Elah - Iraq themed movie #1. Charlize Theron and Tommy Lee Jones are the king and queen of intense, but it doesn't guarantee that this is an interesting flick.

The Kingdom - Iraq themed movie #2. Amazing and ambitious casting - Jennifer Garner and Jamie Foxx play the leads - but I still can't figure out what this movie is about.

The Game Plan - The Rock is just too good for these craptastic B-action movies. Someone get him a new agent please...

Notable Limited Releases:

The Darjeeling Limited - Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman and Adrian Brody team up for yet another installment of "the world through Wes Anderson's devastatingly indie eyes".

Lust, Caution - An NC-17 rated erotic thriller from Ang Lee, the Chinese director behind Brokeback Mountain and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

Fall Season TV !

"Imma gonna eat your BRAINS!"

Fall is fast approaching and basic TV programming is looking better than it has in years. Here's a peek at some of my favorites and some shows with strong potential that I'll be giving a go this season:

Monday:
A lovable geek named Chuck (NBC) gets thrown into a James Bond-like world of espionage, NBC's amazing superhero drama Heroes comes back for an ambitious 2nd season, and Kevin McKidd (Lucius Vorenus in Rome) stars in Journeyman (NBC), a time-travel drama that's a mix of Early Edition and Quantum Leap. Way to go Peacock!

Tuesday:
Incredibly dumb girls interact with incredibly awkward guys - Beauty and the Geek (CW) is reality TV gold! Reaper (CW) is more of a universal recommendation, a Kevin Smith-created comedy about a slacker who becomes a bounty hunter for a self-satisfied silver-haired devil.

Wednesday:
America's Next Top Model is a guiltier pleasure than Beauty and The Geek, but I simply can't help it - Tyra Banks is too crazy to miss.

Thursday:
Ugly Betty (ABC) combines all the cattiness of the fashion industry (think Devil Wears Prada) with everything you love/hate about Spanish telenovelas. Tiny Fey's 30 Rock (NBC) is still the most charming thing on TV, and Scrubs (NBC) has my begrudging attention for it's final season.

Sunday:
Family Guy's (Fox) hold over me can be summarized in five words: Star Wars spoof season premiere.

Don't have time for:
How I Met Your Mother, Prison Break, Everybody Hates Chris, any CSI, Cane, Bones, House, Dirty Sexy Money, Pushing Daisies, Kid Nation, Bionic Woman, Life, Kitchen Nightmares, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, My Name is Earl, Smallville, Brothers and Sisters, Viva Laughlin, The Simpsons

Won't bother watching:
Anything on Friday or Saturday night, Dancing with the Stars, Samantha Who?, The Bachelor, The Big Bang Theory, Rules of Engagement, K-Ville, Cavemen, Carpoolers, Boston Legal, NCIS, The Unit, The Biggest Loser, The Singing Bee, Law & Order: SVU, Private Practice, Criminal Minds, Deal or No Deal, Back to You, Til Death, Big Shots, Survivor, Without a Trace, ER, Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader?, Don't Forget the Lyrics!, Supernatural, Desperate Housewives, American Dad, King of the Hill, Cold Case, Shark

Will It Blend? - Chuck Norris

Blendtec never ceases to amaze me. LOVE the ending

Opening this Weekend - 9/21

"I'd call her a definite upgrade from Jessica Simpson"

Good Luck Chuck (Dane Cook, Jessica Alba) - Plot: Jessica Alba acts really hot and Dane Cook reacts in a comedic manner. Okay maybe it's not so simple, but as far as romantic comedies go this one is pretty run-of-the-mill. Real Plot: A seemingly love-cursed guy must find a way to break the spell to get the girl of his dreams.

Limited release noteworthy mentions (title links to trailers):

Eastern Promises - Viggo Mortensen (of Lord of the Rings fame) plays a devastatingly intense Russian mobster in a movie from the makers of A History of Violence. Apparently the bathroom knife fight scene is so impressive many audiences have been clapping at the end of it.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - At what point did Brad Pitt become critics' new darling? In any case, this slow, Bonnie and Clyde-esque dissection of the traditional Western anti-hero is at 92% in rotten tomatoes.

RUMOR: Harry Potter as James Bond?

"Please....no...."

According to a post at JoBlo.com, a new film franchise based on Charlie Higson's Young Bond books is being seriously considered and the filmmakers are courting none other than Harry Potter himself, Daniel Radcliffe.

I know Radcliffe has been trying to bulk up recently, but SERIOUSLY? You can take the boy out of wizard-nerdlington but you can't take the wizard-nerdlington out of the boy.

Incredible Hulk set photos

"The Incredible Property Damage"

SuperHeroHype.com has released new photos from the set of The Incredible Hulk. This "pretend-Ang-Lee's-version-never-happened re-envisioning of the green giant's franchise stars Edward Norton and Liv Tyler.

Seth Green Says Leave Chris Crocker Alone!

Seth Green, the rising king of sophomoric TV comedy (voice of Chris in Family Guy, creator of Robot Chicken), takes his own stab at Chris Crocker's newly infamous "Leave Britney Alone!" video

Fight Club Redux

"Guess Who's Back"

From IMDB news today:
"Edward Norton is reuniting with his Fight Club co-star Brad Pitt in new movie State Of Play. The pair starred in the violent 1999 drama - and will share the screen again in the American film adaptation of the BBC miniseries, reports Moviehole.net. Norton will play a U.S. congressman facing an investigation over the death of his mistress - while Pitt plays the journalist who follows the case."

The chemistry between these two is excellent - takes me back to the Paul Newman-Robert Redford pairing years back in movies like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Can't wait for another round!

Opening this weekend - 9/14

"Billy Bob is such a creepy old man."

My take* on notable movies opening this week:
*this is very much going to be along the lines of how Stephen Colbert "reviews" movies by watching the trailer or just looking at a newspaper ad - lots of truthiness involved

The Brave One (Jodi Foster) - A woman loses a loved one to street crime in New York and promptly resorts to roaming the night and dishing out vigilante justice. Very much about feminine empowerment - think Boondock Saints meets Enough (that Jennifer Lopez dud)

Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob Thorton, Seann William Scott) - A guy who was bullied by his sadistic P.E. coach grows up to become a self-help guru, but his peace is shattered when he finds out the P.E. coach is going to marry his Mom. Probably a mix of Meet the Parents, Guess Who and any number of gross-out humor forgettables

Limited release noteworthy mentions (title links to trailers):

The December Boys - Daniel Radcliffe (aka Harry Potter) plays a teen orphan learning about life in a low-key drama. Oliver Twist meets Cider House Rules?
Great World of Sound - A comedy about two guys who run a talent agency scam - probably plenty of scenes featuring folks who resemble American Idol rejects

Dragonball Z movie in the works

"Is this really necessary? ::cough:: Intial D movie ::cough cough::"

Rotten Tomatoes recently posted an article that includes confirmation that the long-rumored Dragonball Z live action movie is alive and kicking. The details:

- expected to wrap production by july 2008
- budget of at least $100 million
- distributed by Twentieth Century Fox
- filming in Montreal

All I can say is anime usually doesn't translate into live action very well, and when we're talking about meter-tall blond spiky hair, weapons consisting of giant balls of energy and a green elf-eared alien in a turban, well... it ain't looking pretty.

Shoot Em Up review!

"Excuse me sir but do you have a license for that carrot?"

Just saw Shoot Em Up and was thoroughly IMPRESSED. Who was starring in it? Don't care. What was the movie about? Doesn't matter. If any of the following sounds like something you would pay 10 bucks to see then get to the theater now:

1. a mid-air skydiving shootout
2. a hero who only gets really angry when people act like douches (switching lanes without signaling, making that "ahh" sound after drinking coffee)
3. sex and a gunfight - simultaneously
4. carrots used as deadly weapons

Coming (Not So) Soon

As I impatiently wait for the weekend to hit, I thought I'd post on some of the more notable films that are comin on down the road...

"George Clooney would have killed for this batsuit."

Exciting films that actually have release dates:

Indiana Jones 4 - (releases 5/2/08, filming now) Who wants three when you can have FOUR? Shia LeBeouf wowed crowds and critics alike in the recent Transformers movie and will hopefully breathe new life into this highly anticipated addition to a legendary franchise.
The Dark Knight - (releases 7/18/08, filming now) Christopher Nolan (Batman Begins, Memento) returns to direct the amazing Christian Bale as Batman. The caped crusader battles the Joker in this next installment, and it looks like fan favorites like Alfred, Commissioner Gordon, Harvey Dent (aka the future Two Face), Lucius Fox and Barbara Gordon (aka the future Batgirl) will be making appearances as well.

Films with unknown production status (Hollywood get your act together! It's like free money):

Halo - Peter Jackson needs to get moving on this and Fox needs to stop playing football with such a great franchise. Current speculation revolves around who will be cast as Master Chief.
Ender's Game - Author Orson Scott Card is currently penning the 3rd draft of the script. This is on a lot of people's lists as one of the greatest and most cinematic sci-fi novels of all time so I hope I'm still alive when this finally comes out.
Sin City 2 - Frank Miller's script is complete, but apparently they're having a hard time getting Robert Rodriguez, Clive Owen, Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson et. all to commit to working out their schedules to make room for this. 2009 maybe?

Fall Movie Preview!

Seeing as how we're in the middle of the end-of-summer No Man's Zone for new releases, I thought I'd compile a list of fall movies to get the blood pumpin a bit =)

THE GOOD
3:10 to Yuma (9/7/07)- while Christian Bale can do no wrong in my book Russell Crowe can and HAS done plenty wrong. Still, the reviews are great - currently holding at 93% on Rotten Tomatoes
Shoot 'Em Up (9/7/07)- I'm hoping for a Sin City-meets-Hot Shots! mix. But if I don't have a seizure during these high intensity action scenes they've been touting I'm going to be disappointed
Across The Universe (9/14/07) - a bit of a left field pick, but I just love the premise - a Baz Luhrmann-like musical based on Beatles songs and directed by the artist behind Broadway's "The Lion King"
30 Days of Night (10/19/07) - Sam Raimi (director of the Spiderman trilogy) returns to his horror roots with a comic-book adaptation that vows to make vampires the new zombies
The Comebacks (10/26/07) - as a sports genre parody, this runs a good chance of being as bad as Scary Movie or Date Movie. Still, the trailer makes me giggle, and I'm eager to see some favorites (Dodgeball, Remember the Titans, etc) get the spoof treatment.
American Gangster (11/2/07) - Denzel Washington plays your friendly neighborhood drug lord
Beowulf (11/16/07) - I'm not gonna lie, when I first saw the trailer I didn't even notice that the entire thing was computer animated. This stunning retelling of the Beowulf legend includes lots of backstory with Grendel's mother, a Tomb-Raider version of Angelina Jolie

THE BAD
Heavily-marketed movies that I haven't been impressed with so far:
The Brothers Solomon (Will Arnett and Will Forte), The Brave One (Jodie Foster), Good Luck Chuck (Jessica Alba), The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (Brad Pitt), The Kingdom (Jamie Foxx), Lust, Caution (Ang Lee), The Darjeeling Limited (Wes Anderson, Owen Wilson), The Heartbreak Kid (Ben Stiller), Michael Clayton (George Clooney), We Own the Night (Joaquin Pheonix), Fred Claus (Vince Vaughn)

THE UGLY
Movies I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. If someone invites you to one of these, politely decline or run away screaming:
Resident Evil: Extinction, The Jane Austen Book Club, Saw IV, Bee Movie, Dr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, Enchanted, Hitman, Pathology

more Matt Damon spoofery

If you want the equally fun backstory, click here to see Matt Damon freaking out on Jimmy Kimmel Live and here for Guillermo at the Ocean's Thirteen premiere!

Guillermo - the man the myth the legend

The Bourne Lampoonery

Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel have a long-standing mock-feud that's pretty hilarious - and now that Jimmy Kimmel Live's lovable Guillermo has been added to the mix the gag is irresistible.

Click to play and see Matt Damon and Guillermo fight for the Jason Bourne role.

Here pelican pelican pelican...

The American Gangster trailer oozes mobster style and raises my hopes for a true successor to Scarface. Even if it doesn't end up reaching that level of greatness, who can resist a good glorious-rise-tragic-fall story from the director of Black Hawk Down and Gladiator?

American Gangster releases Nov 2 and stars Oscar winners Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe.

Shoot 'Em Up: Great movie or greatest movie?

"I'm delivering a baby with my other hand. no joke"

Check out the trailer for the movie that everyone at Comic-Con was excited about.

Clive Owen lives up to his status as an action movie badass with a new thriller co-starring Paul Giamatti and the gorgeous Monica Belluci. Shoot 'Em Up is a slick spoof of hyper-intense action movies - think Bourne Supremacy-meets-John-Woo-meets-crack.

transformers are better than people

"One of these kids is not like the other one of these kids is cool!"

Seriously, I don't care what gender you are, you have to admit that one of these toys is simply far superior to the other.

Random hilariousness: click here to check out a youtube vid of some guys showing off their functional Transformers costumes. Oh engineers.

Mean Girls is a not a chick flick

post to come